Every day of every calendar year has a special designation.

Whether “official” or otherwise, all days are singled out as times to celebrate or focus on some sort of cause, object, activity, or ideal.

Some designations are serious, and some silly. Some are deemed “national,” others are international, and still others are arbitrary in their scope. But whatever the case, each and every one is important to someone.

Here are a scant few of the “national” days that occur throughout each year (keep in mind I didn’t make up any of them).

––January 9: National Clean off Your Desk Day.

In case you missed it this year, keep it in mind for next year.

Of course, the nation’s clean freaks won’t feel led to participate, but this day offers other people a reason to deal with all that stuff that has piled up for months.

Doug Davison

Doug Davison

The main thing to be wary of is not going overboard and end up throwing out refinance documents, current bills, or Aunt Thelma’s sweet potato pie recipe, but the idea would seem to be based on sound thinking.

And you never know, as you’re moving the stacks and getting ready to wipe off the dust and cookie crumbs, you might find that earring that went missing last summer, or that CD you copied from your friend’s collection of favorites. At very least, you’ll have room again for your coffee mug and you won’t always be wondering where your pen went.

––February 23: National Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day.

Why shouldn’t there be at least one day set aside in the interest of man’s best friend?

I know one particular 35-pound Pembroke Welsh Corgi who would love to be a spokes-canine for this cause. And surely dogs in all corners

of the country would be happy with showing their appreciation for chomping a jumbo beef-flavor Milk-Bone.

––May 14: National Chicken-Dance Day.

Yeah buddy, can’t you see it now – hundreds of people lined up on Grand Avenue in downtown Houston as millions of Americans join together in a massive, simultaneous moment of craziness. The major networks broadcasting snippets of dancing from many locations in the country to all corners of the world.

Awesome.

While we’re at it, crank up “Cotton-Eyed Joe” and let’s go.

––June 27: National Columnists Day.

Man, what a complete waste of time.

Those morons are nothing more than arrogant, opinionated crackpots who are so delusional they actually believe people give a rip what they think or care about.

––July 15: National Respect Canada Day.

So, then, whaddaya say we pop in that there Bob and Doug McKenzie video movie tape and down a few Molsons, eh?

OK, so, that sounds pretty good, you know. But listen, hoser, maybe first we ought to learn the words to “Oh Canada.” For crying in the mud, you know, the whole song has only nine lines there.

––Sept. 28: National Ask A Stupid Question Day.

There are people who don’t buy into the old adage “there’s no such thing as a stupid question,” and this day represents a chance for them to prove their point.

Participating is easy (and apparently comes naturally to far too many folks). It’s like this:

If you see someone removing a shredded tire from a jacked-up car on the side of a highway, ask, “get a flat?”

If you’re at the lake and you see someone wearing a swimsuit about to jump in, ask, “going swimming?”

If you see someone pinned to the ground by a large tree draped across their abdomen, ask, “need some help?”

The possibilities are endless.

––Nov. 15: National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day.

It’s not necessarily a pleasant task, so having a target date for taking it on probably isn’t a bad idea.

At some point, someone has to find out what’s in those plastic containers way in the back, and how long those jars of seldom-used condiments have been in the door. Why not do so when you know lots of other people are, too?

And since nobody really cared for the contents of those jars of zucchini butter and pickled pigs feet (and no one can remember who gave them as a gift, either) this day offers a perfect excuse to ditch them.

I know a dog or two who might consider this day even more special than the dog biscuit day.

––Dec. 16: National Chocolate Covered Anything Day.

Few food items could be counted more worthy of having their own day than chocolate. But maybe the day’s title doesn’t do justice to its intended celebration of the goodness and versatility its subject, because I’m just not so sure about the “anything” part.

I believe it would be best to stop short of certain things, like moldy asparagus, possum ears, and dog-do, to name just a few.

Since not a day exists without a special designation, there are so many more to consider. Some sound kind of interesting (like National Dress Up Your Pet Day on Jan. 14, National Pig Day on March 1, and National Pizza With The Works Except Anchovies Day on Nov. 12), while others sound pretty weird (like National Babbling Day on Oct. 21, and National Bicarbonate Of Soda Day on Dec. 30).

Of course, weeks and months receive special designations, too.

For example, maybe you weren’t aware that you have less than two weeks left to get yourself together during National Get Organized Month (January). And perhaps you’d best start making your plans for National Laugh-Friendly Month (February), National Pancake Week (Feb. 19-25), and National Second-hand Wardrobe Week (Feb. 26 – March 3).

And now may be as good a time as any to begin preparing for National On-Hold Month (a.k.a. March), and before you know it, another National Scoop the Poop week will be here (April 24-30).

But I wouldn’t bother getting ready for National Procrastination Week. It’s not until March 4-10, so there’s still plenty of time.

Hey, we may all be in a hand basket headed for a very hot place, but there’s always reason to celebrate.

Doug Davison is a writer, photographer and newsroom assistant for the Houston Herald. Email:  ddavison@houstonherald.com.

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