Almost two years ago, I wrote a column about how every day of the year is in some way, by someone somewhere, recognized as “National Something or Other Day.”

Since then, it seems like the national recognition phenomenon has been even more prevalent, and everywhere you turn you hear about another day, week or month bearing some sort of special designation. Basically, there are too many of ‘em, and those with any semblance of legitimacy end up lost in a logjam that’s pretty much impossible to sort through.

Because of the over-abundance of “national days,” many Americans – like me – missed out on most that occurred last month. Here’s a few:

•Sept. 9 was National Wonderful Weirdos Day. I’d say it’s apparent that some people celebrate that day about 365 times a year (and some of their fellow Americans might question just how “wonderful” that is).

Doug Davison

Doug Davison

•Sept. 19 was National Talk Like a Pirate Day. Avast ye scurvy swab, ye never had the chance, did ye? A shame it is ye let an opportunity so fine slip through yer grasp. Arrrgh.

•Sept. 23 was National Dogs in Politics Day and National Checkers Day. That second designation has nothing to do with the popular board game (although I’m sure there’s a day for that somewhere on the calendar), but rather honors former President Richard Nixon’s dog Checkers, whom Nixon referred to in his infamous “Checkers Speech” on Sept. 23, 1952 (after concerns were raised about improprieties relating to a fund established by his backers to reimburse him for his political expenses as a vice-presidential candidate).

Note: I’m not sure if there’s a Cats in Politics Day, although there are definitely cats in politics, like Mayor Stubbs of Talkeetna, Alaska (the 16-year-old feline municipal leader of the remote town north of Anchorage).

•Sept. 25 was National One-Hit Wonder Day. Established by a music journalist in 1990 as a way to pay tribute to musical artists or bands who enjoyed a fleeting moment of fame and then more or less disappeared, it’s a day to remember chart-topping acts like Zager and Evans (whose song “In the Year 2525” spent six weeks at No. 1 on the Billboard Magazine charts beginning in July of 1969), Memphis disc jockey Rick Dees (who reached No. 1 in Oct. 1976 with “Disco Duck,” a novelty tune that epitomized the sillier side of the disco craze), and – who could forget – the English girl group Bananarama (that went top-10 in 1984 with “Cruel Summer”).

This month is no different than the other 11 in that its 31 days include about a zillion national days. For the record, here are a few scheduled in October:

•Today (Oct. 3) is National Virus Appreciation Day. I’m not sure whether we’re supposed to thank bodily invaders like Ebola, measles and influenza, or say “way to go” to PC intruders like Storm Worm, MyDoom and Nimda.

I don’t suppose it matters. Sheesh.

•Oct. 14 is Bald and Free Day. This one could be worth staging a parade for. It sounds like a great opportunity to laud our fellow hair-challenged Americans who do so much to protect the liberty and democracy we all take for granted.

•Oct. 22 is Caps Lock Day. OK everyone, lock and load! Everything typed, emailed and printed should be in all caps on this particular Tuesday. And while we’re at it, lets go bold wherever possible – and don’t hold back on the italics.

Just so you know, there are folks among us who apparently feel there aren’t enough national days (and perhaps could never be). In fact, a website exists where you can actually create and register a new national day.

Yep, that’s right; log onto www.nationaldaycalendar.com (run by an outfit called Zoovio, Inc., located in the sprawling metropolis and national recognition mecca of Mandan, N.D.) and for the paltry sum of $799.99, you can go down in history as the founder of a national day. Included in your paid submission is a press release (where it’s released is anyone’s guess), annual inclusion in the company’s daily post on its website and social media, inclusion in WikiPedia, and a really big framed certificate.

Seems like quite the bargain (he said, with eyes rolling).

I don’t know, but maybe Zoovio has it backward, and instead of encouraging more and more special day recognitions there should simply be a single National Everything Day. That way we could all get it all over with in one fell swoop, and spend the rest of the year tending to all the other stuff in our lives rather than having to keep track of what “day” today is (not that anyone is doing that now).

Anyway, here we are in October and most of us are entirely unprepared for its 112 special designations (including National Caramel Month, National Roller Skating Month and National Toilet Tank Repair Month). I guess the good news is that we still have a few shopping days left before National Chess Day on Oct. 9 (not named after a former politician’s dog), National Grouch Day on Oct. 15 (“have you hugged a grouch today?”), National Pasta Day on Oct. 17, and National Chucky The Notorious Killer Doll Day on Oct. 25.

I think it might be in all of our best interests not to overlook that last one.

Doug Davison is a writer, photographer and newsroom assistant for the Houston Herald. Email: ddavison@houstonherald.com.

https://houstonherald.wordpress.com/2012/01/17/off-the-cuff-every-days-a-special-day/

Advertisements

Every day of every calendar year has a special designation.

Whether “official” or otherwise, all days are singled out as times to celebrate or focus on some sort of cause, object, activity, or ideal.

Some designations are serious, and some silly. Some are deemed “national,” others are international, and still others are arbitrary in their scope. But whatever the case, each and every one is important to someone.

Here are a scant few of the “national” days that occur throughout each year (keep in mind I didn’t make up any of them).

––January 9: National Clean off Your Desk Day.

In case you missed it this year, keep it in mind for next year.

Of course, the nation’s clean freaks won’t feel led to participate, but this day offers other people a reason to deal with all that stuff that has piled up for months.

Doug Davison

Doug Davison

The main thing to be wary of is not going overboard and end up throwing out refinance documents, current bills, or Aunt Thelma’s sweet potato pie recipe, but the idea would seem to be based on sound thinking.

And you never know, as you’re moving the stacks and getting ready to wipe off the dust and cookie crumbs, you might find that earring that went missing last summer, or that CD you copied from your friend’s collection of favorites. At very least, you’ll have room again for your coffee mug and you won’t always be wondering where your pen went.

––February 23: National Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day.

Why shouldn’t there be at least one day set aside in the interest of man’s best friend?

I know one particular 35-pound Pembroke Welsh Corgi who would love to be a spokes-canine for this cause. And surely dogs in all corners

of the country would be happy with showing their appreciation for chomping a jumbo beef-flavor Milk-Bone.

––May 14: National Chicken-Dance Day.

Yeah buddy, can’t you see it now – hundreds of people lined up on Grand Avenue in downtown Houston as millions of Americans join together in a massive, simultaneous moment of craziness. The major networks broadcasting snippets of dancing from many locations in the country to all corners of the world.

Awesome.

While we’re at it, crank up “Cotton-Eyed Joe” and let’s go.

––June 27: National Columnists Day.

Man, what a complete waste of time.

Those morons are nothing more than arrogant, opinionated crackpots who are so delusional they actually believe people give a rip what they think or care about.

––July 15: National Respect Canada Day.

So, then, whaddaya say we pop in that there Bob and Doug McKenzie video movie tape and down a few Molsons, eh?

OK, so, that sounds pretty good, you know. But listen, hoser, maybe first we ought to learn the words to “Oh Canada.” For crying in the mud, you know, the whole song has only nine lines there.

––Sept. 28: National Ask A Stupid Question Day.

There are people who don’t buy into the old adage “there’s no such thing as a stupid question,” and this day represents a chance for them to prove their point.

Participating is easy (and apparently comes naturally to far too many folks). It’s like this:

If you see someone removing a shredded tire from a jacked-up car on the side of a highway, ask, “get a flat?”

If you’re at the lake and you see someone wearing a swimsuit about to jump in, ask, “going swimming?”

If you see someone pinned to the ground by a large tree draped across their abdomen, ask, “need some help?”

The possibilities are endless.

––Nov. 15: National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day.

It’s not necessarily a pleasant task, so having a target date for taking it on probably isn’t a bad idea.

At some point, someone has to find out what’s in those plastic containers way in the back, and how long those jars of seldom-used condiments have been in the door. Why not do so when you know lots of other people are, too?

And since nobody really cared for the contents of those jars of zucchini butter and pickled pigs feet (and no one can remember who gave them as a gift, either) this day offers a perfect excuse to ditch them.

I know a dog or two who might consider this day even more special than the dog biscuit day.

––Dec. 16: National Chocolate Covered Anything Day.

Few food items could be counted more worthy of having their own day than chocolate. But maybe the day’s title doesn’t do justice to its intended celebration of the goodness and versatility its subject, because I’m just not so sure about the “anything” part.

I believe it would be best to stop short of certain things, like moldy asparagus, possum ears, and dog-do, to name just a few.

Since not a day exists without a special designation, there are so many more to consider. Some sound kind of interesting (like National Dress Up Your Pet Day on Jan. 14, National Pig Day on March 1, and National Pizza With The Works Except Anchovies Day on Nov. 12), while others sound pretty weird (like National Babbling Day on Oct. 21, and National Bicarbonate Of Soda Day on Dec. 30).

Of course, weeks and months receive special designations, too.

For example, maybe you weren’t aware that you have less than two weeks left to get yourself together during National Get Organized Month (January). And perhaps you’d best start making your plans for National Laugh-Friendly Month (February), National Pancake Week (Feb. 19-25), and National Second-hand Wardrobe Week (Feb. 26 – March 3).

And now may be as good a time as any to begin preparing for National On-Hold Month (a.k.a. March), and before you know it, another National Scoop the Poop week will be here (April 24-30).

But I wouldn’t bother getting ready for National Procrastination Week. It’s not until March 4-10, so there’s still plenty of time.

Hey, we may all be in a hand basket headed for a very hot place, but there’s always reason to celebrate.

Doug Davison is a writer, photographer and newsroom assistant for the Houston Herald. Email:  ddavison@houstonherald.com.